Tag Archives: selfless

Promote the World

This is the second piece of a two part series. Once we have become strong swimmers it is our responsibility to help save others who may be drowning.


In my last piece I discussed how important it was to promote yourself. Especially if what you are doing is positive and extends a positive message or sets a positive example. If something you do in your daily life, either as your job or for a hobby, is positive it is your responsibility to share that shit with the world.

It is incredibly valuable to not only do good things, but to share those good things with others. If you look around at mainstream media… social media… shit any media. How many positive role models do you see?

It’s incredibly important that when you are doing something positive that you share it with the world. You never know when a post or message that you share will become the inspiration for someone else.

photo cred: Kelly Sikkema

But it’s not just enough to promote yourself. Success doesn’t come to those who only promote themselves. It just doesn’t. It never will. Promoting yourself and yourself alone will give you some short-term victories but in the long run, it will fizzle out. Setting the example will only take you so far.

Real success is found in things that benefit the whole. The team as a whole… the world as whole… the family as a whole. Long lasting success isn’t going to come from just sharing your own wins and victories.

Long lasting success is going to come from what value you provide back to the team… the world.. your family. Long-term success is going to come down to how much you promote others. How much you give back out to the world that you’re asking to put back in to you.

Advertisements

You see when it’s only about you, and you alone, what tends to happen is you gain a little bit of success and then something comes along and punches you in the mouth and knocks you down. Adversity shows up and most of the time adversity is bigger than you. Adversity squashes you and sits you back down. And you go back to being the same, unsuccessful person you always were.

This is why people fail at their small businesses, their workouts, their goals. They fail because when adversity comes along, it was only ever about them.

But when you do things for others. When you go out and promote others, when you jump into the comments on someone else’s post whose trying to get back in shape, or you send a like or a share to someone whose battled a difficult situation. When you reach out to someone through a direct message and check-in with them. It matters.

It matters.

It makes a fucking difference.

Don’t tell me it doesn’t. Don’t tell me that when you post or you share something out to the world and somebody responds to you with positivity and promotes and supports you on that, that it doesn’t make you feel like you’re on the right path. That it doesn’t fill you with even more motivation and acceptance and satisfaction. Don’t tell me it doesn’t.

It does matter. It matters to a lot of people in a lot of ways. It has a greater impact than just setting the example. It has a longer lasting impact, than just sharing a cool tweet or post of your expensive dinner.

When you go out a promote and support others in the missions they’re on in life. It makes all the difference in the world.

photo cred: Chris Curry

So go out and be successful. Go out and promote yourself. Share your brand, share your content, share yourself with the world. And then go and double down on giving back. Find others that are doing the same thing as you and support them. Buy their shit, share their posts, message them and tell them how fucking awesome they are for going out and doing their thing.

Be a good fucking person and go promote the world!

I guarantee you, that when you go out and provide value back into the world. You won’t have to look for success. Success will find you.

Advertisements

My Why’s for Getting Healthier both Physically & Mentally

Since I’ve started this little mini-journey of getting healthier I’ve had a lot of different feedback on my approach. Some people have been really supportive (thank you!), others have questioned me (appreciate the insights and perspectives as well!), and some have flat out opposed me. Today I wanted to give some deeper insights into My Why’s and what’s driving me to do what I’m doing day-after-day.

Not so long ago I was sitting at home in quarantine, like so many others. I was waking up, getting my kids ready for school, clocking into my job, doing my 9-to-5, making dinner for the family, doing household chores, changing diapers, and then grabbing a drink or two and watching tv or playing video games for the next 3 or 4 hours. As far as I was concerned I was living the life. I had a good job, great family, good friends, there was not a single thing wrong in my life. And yet… I wasn’t really happy.

I had a lot of goals I had set for myself. I wanted to quit smoking, I wanted to get healthier, I wanted to stop drinking soda every day, I wanted to spend more time with my kids, I wanted to spend more time with my wife, I wanted to take my dog for more walks, I wanted to write more, I wanted to work on my side projects more, I wanted to do all of these things. All of these different goals I wanted to accomplish and instead, each and every night, I was sitting down, firing up the TV and not doing any of those things…

For the last couple of years I’ve been trying to find the right answer that would help me accomplish my goals. I’ve been trying to figure out what the trick was that other people had already figured out. How were they hitting their fitness goals, their personal development goals, how did they manage to even have time to do these things? I read book after book after trying to answer this question. If it was on the best seller list and everyone was saying this was the way, I bought, I read it, and I tried it. You can take a look at a few of them here.

And still… I was smoking, sleeping in late, staying up late, and feeling like I was still leaving something on the table…

Going back a couple of weeks again, I had caught a nasty cold, nose was congested, sneezing, and it was just like that day in the fall where you feel like every farmer is pulling out their crops, oh and those crops are made out of dog and cat hair… I was just feeling like crap.

I was really feeling low and you know, you can only go so low until the only way to go is up. So I started looking through my productivity books again and I had a moment where it was sort of realized, “This is NOT working.

Like… I’ve tried this… maybe the problem isn’t me. Maybe the problem is I’m trying all these quick fixes, “just organize your To Do List like this” ideas? So I started doing my own research. I started looking at other’s who had achieved great lives. I started listening to more podcasts of others who lived great lives and I found this: Inky Johnson – It’s Not Just About You.

All it took was one listen for me to change my whole perspective on life. That moment was like a light switch for me. If you haven’t stopped reading this to go listen to Inky Johnson’s story do it before you finish reading this. Listen to that story to understand why that was such a meaningful moment for me.

You see for me, it was like, I’m over here trying to do these little bullshit goals that I can’t even accomplish all the while I’m sitting here in my warm house, with my belly full of food, and sleeping in my warm bed. I can’t even get my ass to put down a cigarette to set a good example for my kids.

And here’s Inky Johnson, coming from nothing, working his whole life to try and make a better life for himself and his family and then life steals that away from him. He is literally weeks away from a multi-million dollar contract with the NFL and one bad tackle throws it all away. Inky loses his arm and his NFL dream is over. All that work, all that time, and life just shits on him. But the thing is, it doesn’t even stop him. It doesn’t stop him because it was never about him. I’m telling you, go listen: Inky Johnson – It’s Not Just About You.

So at that moment I realized. I can’t accomplish the things I want to, I can’t reach higher, because everything I’m doing is based on some selfish desire. I wanted to get in better shape because I wanted to impress people, not because I wanted to set an example for others. I wanted to work on that next side project because I wanted to make more money not because I wanted to solve a problem for others. I wanted to spend more time with my kids because I wanted people to think I was a good father not because time is short and that bond is timeless. Everything that I wanted to accomplish started with I.

When I changed my perspective on that. When I decided to stop trying to do things because I wanted them and started trying to do things for others. Everything changed. I’m coming up 3 weeks smoke-free after 10+ years of smoking. I’m up at 4 AM running a 5k and then hitting the weights after not taking a run since I was in high school gym class. My whole diets changed, my whole perspective on life is changed, and the reason is because I found a bigger why than myself. I found that the reason some people can push through, the reason they can overcome and fight through their goals is because they have Selfless Why’s.

If you’re struggling to reach your goals like I was, if you’re having a hard time reaching higher like I was you, need to find more powerful why’s. You need to find some selfless why’s to push you farther. You’re reasons for doing what you’re doing HAVE TO be bigger than you.

I hope this post inspires you like I’ve been inspired. If you’re having a hard time getting motivated, if you’re struggling to find your why’s reach out to me. I HAVE to pay it forward so don’t be afraid to take that first step towards change. Message me, email me, leave me a comment, and Go Get you Some!

You’re Not Getting the Point!

In my previous post about Finding Your Why we talked about reasons we struggle so much to reach our goals and how we need powerful, motivating factors to achieve them. Although… it’s not always that simple and like myself, many struggle to find their reasons why.

The most difficult and common struggle I find among myself, and others, is in laying out the why’s and motivating factors for our goals. Think about some of the goals you’ve ever set for yourself, or even that you’ve seen someone else set for themselves. How often do we hear or see, “I want to lose weight so I can look good” or “I want to write this book so I can be a best seller” or “I want to build this little app so I can make a million bucks.”

The common theme her is that it’s all about me, me, me, me and we say I, I, I, I….

And then, a challenge comes our way. A hurdle in our journey to accomplishing our goal comes along and what happens? We fold, we cave, we get beat down, and we fail to overcome our challenge. So why does this happen? Why can we be so motivated when we start on a new goal, that first few days in the gym for our New Year’s resolution, and then give up so easily?

But what about that person we see or know that’s out there crushing their goals? What about that athlete that over comes the odds and makes it into pro sports or that ‘A’ student who comes from a rough background or that business man who went from pennies to riches? What about those people? How come when they hit a hurdle in their journey they don’t fall off like the rest of us?

The secret, the secret sauce here, is that their Why’s, their list of reasons for achieving their goals is selfish AND SELFLESS. When you start to learn about these people who have achieved such great levels of success and you look at their list of Why’s not only does it contain personal motivators such as, “I want to be a great football player” but it contains a long listing of selfless motivators.

Think about times you’ve heard successful people give acceptance speeches. How often do we hear, “This is for my kids” or “I did this for my mama” or “I want to thank my dad for driving me to practice every day.” The reason these people are giving these speeches and crushing their goals is because they are motivated by something bigger than their own selfish wants.

You see what happens when you have these selfless motivators is that they tend to be bigger than you. The selfless motivators tend to take on a larger than life sort of role and this is what makes them so powerful. These selfless motivators give you a different set of power to aim towards your goals and then the next time you hit a hurdle or life punches you in the mouth, instead of staying on the ground or making excuses this selfless motivator pushes you through.

These selfless motivators have such a powerful drive behind them that they are literally the reason some people are successful at all. For some successful people, if you were to take them out of their environment and take away these motivators, they would be a regular Joe Schmo. These selfless motivators are the reason people push through their failures. Their the reason people get up earlier than anyone else, the reason some people hit the gym every day, the reason some people are out hustling all day and night.

Now don’t get me wrong, I believe you should have a good mix of selfish and selfless motivators but I think the selfish ones come pretty easy. It’s the selfless motivators that we need to spend more time thinking on and sometimes they aren’t that easy to pinpoint.

My advice is to look at the world around you. Who around you might look up to you? Who around you might look to you for advice or example? What around you in the world, your community, might be bigger than you? Put that on your list of why’s and if you look at your list of why’s and all you see is I… I… I… then you’re not getting the point.