Tag Archives: Motivate

How To Stop Failing At Your Goals

Reaching our goals is tough. It’s so incredibly tough that most of us never actually reach them.

But there are some ways to actually making your goals much more of a reality and they’re not as complicated as you might think.


Let’s start with the big one. The number one reason people fail at achieving their goals is actually the elephant in the room. It’s not some surprise thing that their not doing or some off the wall trick that they just haven’t figured out yet. The main reason people fail at their goals…. is because they quit.

There I said it.

And it’s the big truth in anything I’ve ever seen people try to achieve or I’ve ever tried to achieve myself. Most people tend to have no problem starting a goal, it’s sustaining the goal that they fail at. It’s the waking up and showing up everyday part that most people can’t seem to get down. And here’s why.

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Most people expect to come at their goals at 100% every day. They expect that they are going to be highly motivated like they are when they first start their goal. They think they are going to come out and show up to their goal at 110% and crush it every day.

Then life comes in and punches them right in the mouth. A bad day comes along, they have a bad nights sleep, a shitty day at work, or something completely unforeseen happens, like getting into a car accident. And as soon as this bad day comes along, people quit. They say, “ya know I’ve had a rough day, I’m not feeling it today, so I’m going to skip.” Just like that, they’ve lost their goal.

photo cred: Dan Burton

What we can do though, is recognize that this is how life works. We can understand that life is going to purposefully try to throw us off, that life is going to come to us and say, “How bad do you really want it?” and when that happens, we have to be ready to answer.

There are two ways I’ve found to answer this question that life asks of us. The first is about getting back up. It’s about simply knowing that life is going to knock you down and it’s about getting back up anyways and trying again. Notice that I didn’t say it’s about getting up and getting it all done, no I said it’s about getting back up and trying again. It’s about not quitting, remember?

The second piece of advice is once you’ve gotten back up. Once you’ve mentally made the decision to try again understand that it doesn’t have to be all out. It’s better to have showed up and lost the fight than it is to have never shown up at all. What that means is that it’s better to show up to your goal and half ass it, than it is to never try at all.

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So if your goal is weight loss, it’s better to have done good on half your diet than none at all. If your goal is writing a book, it’s better to have written one sentence than none at all. If your goal is to quit smoking, it’s better to have reached have of your goal than it is to have completely abandoned the goal all together.

Remember, the number one reason people fail at their goals is because they quit. Because they think they have to do it at 110% everyday or it’s not worth anything. That perfectionist mindset is poison towards your goals. Don’t let yourself think that way.

Get up and give it 1% every single day.

Good or bad .

and never…

ever…

quit.

When Motivation Fails

Motivation is such a double edged sword. On the one side, motivation gets us going. It gets us started. It’s what ignites and lights the spark that makes us want to take on a new endeavor. It gears us up for finally making a change in our lives and it sets us on the path to victory.

On the other side, it fizzles out after the initial burst. It’s enough to get us started, but not enough to keep us going. It’s enough to to take us out for dinner but not enough to ask us to move in together. It’s there when things are romantic but disappoints us when things get real.

Motivation you son of a bitch…

So what do we do? How can we get motivation to take the long ride, drop down on one knee, and stay with us forever?

The truth is, we can’t.

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See motivation doesn’t actually work like we’re trying to make it work. Motivation isn’t meant to be there for the long haul. Motivation’s purpose isn’t to settle down with us and have kids. That’s just not who motivation is meant for.

Motivation is meant to simply be the spark that ignites the fire. It’s only meant to get things going, to start the motor, but to keep the motor going you need more than just a spark and some lighter fluid. You need something more powerful than motivation…

Living off motivation is the key mistake so many people make when it comes to changing their lives. They want motivation to do all the heavy lifting. They want motivation to wake them up every day and help them get going. They want motivation to push them through the tough times and inspire the to go the extra mile… but it just doesn’t work that way.

If you think it works that way you’ve been watching too many Nike commercials.

If you think it works that way, ask yourself, how many times has motivation got you started, but failed to pull through in moments of adversity and challenge?

Motivation is going to fail you when it comes to sustaining your goals. It always will. It always will because that’s not what motivation is for.

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What you need to be looking for is something beyond motivation. Something that is bigger and more powerful than motivation, that will drive you through and past adversity and challenges. What you need is something that is bigger than personal motivation. Bigger than yourself.

You need POWERFUL WHY’S

Because adversity is often bigger than we are. Challenges are bigger than we are. If they weren’t bigger than our current selves, they wouldn’t be much of a challenge and that’s the whole point. A challenge is a challenge because it’s bigger than you… and to overcome that, you need something bigger than the challenge.

The only way to overcome those challenges is to have the tools that are bigger than our current selves and the current challenges we’re facing. To find those tools, you need to find Powerful Why’s.

photo cred: Eila Lifflander

When you’re facing a challenge and you have Powerful Why’s that drive you beyond that challenge, the whole game changes.

When you’re working hard to make money because you’re poor and your family is starving, you’re on a different level than someone living middle class.

When you’re hitting the gym and losing weight because your doctor told you your health is at risk, you’re a different person than someone who just wants to look good in the mirror.

When you have a Powerful Why, you’re on a whole new level than someone whose doing what you’re doing purely based on motivation.

Now that doesn’t mean we have to be starving or our health be at risk to have a Powerful Why. We can find and develop Powerful Why’s in our own lives from our own situations or we can adopt them from other people. And once we have them, I promise you, the game will change for you.

If you’re struggling to find your Powerful Why’s reach out to me and let’s talk. Leave a comment, send an email, or DM me and let’s figure out what your Powerful Why’s are!