Tag Archives: Failure

Quitting America

I so often see posts across social media platforms that go something like this, “If they’re toxic, leave ’em” or “If you’re not happy, that’s okay, it’s not meant to be.

I also see the divorce rate in America is at about 50%…

photo cred: Siora Photography

I’ve watched this culture grow and become romanticized over the last decade that says, if things aren’t making you happy you should just walk away from them. And I simply cannot believe that so many people think this is the way to success and happiness.

I can’t accept that so many people believe that happiness, true happiness comes from walking away. That happiness means that if things are tough, you’re better off quitting. That happiness means if you don’t like this moment, you should give it all up. I can’t believe…

This is one of the greatest mistakes we make, as people. We feel that when things get difficult or tough that the correct answer is quitting. And then we wonder why we have a nation where the divorce rate is 50%… we wonder why we have a nation that can’t overcome obesity… we wonder why we have a nation that has arguably the most mass shootings in the world…

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It is incredible how many people are popularizing being a quitter in the face of adversity. That our new motto has become, “when things get hard, quit.” It is so mind-blowing that we can live this way, work this way, survive this way… and not realize that it simply is not working for us.

And the problem is, we’ve tried to create a society of “sigh… all I want to do is kick my feet up on a yacht sipping mai tai’s.” A society where we want to try and go viral on a single social media post, going so far as to perform extreme acts, so we can cash in and go, “sigh… time to kick back for the rest of my life” without ever really thinking what that life would be like.

You don’t need a million dollars to sit back and relax. In fact, a majority of us are already sitting back and relaxing every night. Binging on hours of Netflix… binging on hours of social media… binging on hours of leisure time… and then wondering why we feel so unhappy and depressed.

photo cred: Fernando Cferdo

But this just does not work. This is not the way to find happiness.

How many millions of people are taking this same approach, and finding zero happiness and success?

And you might say, “well this guy did this one post and it went viral and.. and.. and..” and that’s great! Wow! That guy won the lottery. Is that really what your strategy is in life? To hope to win the lottery?

No. The answer to the question of how to find happiness and success is completely the exact opposite.

WORK HARDER.

And that’s going to be a tough pill to swallow for a lot of people. It is… because it says you are responsible for your own failures and that you are responsible for fixing them. But it’s the damn truth. You have to abandon this idea that life is all about relaxing. That life is all about avoiding difficult and uncomfortable times.

We have become obsessed with this idea that life is really at it’s best when you’re doing nothing. That life is best when you’ve made a million dollars and then you retire. But if you go out and look at people who retire at 55, 60, 65 with a million dollar pension… they go back to work. They get bored and depressed, so they go back to work.

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That’s because life is NOT about sitting around doing nothing. It’s not about relaxing on a beach with a drink. That will get old quick. Take a look at other millionaires and wildly successful people. Are they just done working? Or do they keep going? Do they release 1 album, 1 movie, 1 book and then go to the beach?

You are far more powerful and capable than you give yourself credit for and buying into this popularized idea by social media about walking away is poison. Give yourself more credit, you are worth more and you can do more. Put down your phone, log off from social media, and go work. Go to work. Put in work.

Put in work at your job. Put in work to your relationships. Put in work to your health.

Go to work.

Everyday.

And then come back here and tell me if you don’t feel better. Try it, go bust your ass for a full day in all areas of your life, give it everything you’ve got. Empty your bucket, completely. And then lay your head down at night and ask yourself how you feel about your day.

I promise you. You’ll be happy with yourself.

And then wake up and do it again.

When Motivation Fails

Motivation is such a double edged sword. On the one side, motivation gets us going. It gets us started. It’s what ignites and lights the spark that makes us want to take on a new endeavor. It gears us up for finally making a change in our lives and it sets us on the path to victory.

On the other side, it fizzles out after the initial burst. It’s enough to get us started, but not enough to keep us going. It’s enough to to take us out for dinner but not enough to ask us to move in together. It’s there when things are romantic but disappoints us when things get real.

Motivation you son of a bitch…

So what do we do? How can we get motivation to take the long ride, drop down on one knee, and stay with us forever?

The truth is, we can’t.

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See motivation doesn’t actually work like we’re trying to make it work. Motivation isn’t meant to be there for the long haul. Motivation’s purpose isn’t to settle down with us and have kids. That’s just not who motivation is meant for.

Motivation is meant to simply be the spark that ignites the fire. It’s only meant to get things going, to start the motor, but to keep the motor going you need more than just a spark and some lighter fluid. You need something more powerful than motivation…

Living off motivation is the key mistake so many people make when it comes to changing their lives. They want motivation to do all the heavy lifting. They want motivation to wake them up every day and help them get going. They want motivation to push them through the tough times and inspire the to go the extra mile… but it just doesn’t work that way.

If you think it works that way you’ve been watching too many Nike commercials.

If you think it works that way, ask yourself, how many times has motivation got you started, but failed to pull through in moments of adversity and challenge?

Motivation is going to fail you when it comes to sustaining your goals. It always will. It always will because that’s not what motivation is for.

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What you need to be looking for is something beyond motivation. Something that is bigger and more powerful than motivation, that will drive you through and past adversity and challenges. What you need is something that is bigger than personal motivation. Bigger than yourself.

You need POWERFUL WHY’S

Because adversity is often bigger than we are. Challenges are bigger than we are. If they weren’t bigger than our current selves, they wouldn’t be much of a challenge and that’s the whole point. A challenge is a challenge because it’s bigger than you… and to overcome that, you need something bigger than the challenge.

The only way to overcome those challenges is to have the tools that are bigger than our current selves and the current challenges we’re facing. To find those tools, you need to find Powerful Why’s.

photo cred: Eila Lifflander

When you’re facing a challenge and you have Powerful Why’s that drive you beyond that challenge, the whole game changes.

When you’re working hard to make money because you’re poor and your family is starving, you’re on a different level than someone living middle class.

When you’re hitting the gym and losing weight because your doctor told you your health is at risk, you’re a different person than someone who just wants to look good in the mirror.

When you have a Powerful Why, you’re on a whole new level than someone whose doing what you’re doing purely based on motivation.

Now that doesn’t mean we have to be starving or our health be at risk to have a Powerful Why. We can find and develop Powerful Why’s in our own lives from our own situations or we can adopt them from other people. And once we have them, I promise you, the game will change for you.

If you’re struggling to find your Powerful Why’s reach out to me and let’s talk. Leave a comment, send an email, or DM me and let’s figure out what your Powerful Why’s are!