All posts by Joshua Howard


For a long time I’ve personally struggled with motivation and reaching the goals I really wanted in life. I never had a hard time picking something up and getting started though. I could design the best strategy, come up with the best plan, and get a huge start on achieving my goal… for a day or two…

And then I would fail… I would fall off, make an excuse, or life would throw a challenge my way and it would be enough for me to allow myself to sit back down and take a break. Any real progress I was making in life was a result of these short bursts, these small sprints of effort. And while these sprints were getting me places, they weren’t getting me anywhere for long.

Sure I could give up soda for a day or two, but then I’d cave on a weekend. I could get my workout in once or twice a week, but I couldn’t do it every day. I could work on my side project, until I hit a difficult bug that I couldn’t figure out. I could accomplish things, it was just taking me a lifetime to make it happen.


So I’ve been on this journey to figure out why I can’t reach my goals faster. I’ve been trying to figure out why I can get started, get all fired up, and then let my flame burnout. So I looked a lot of places, read a lot of books, and did a tonne of research, but I still couldn’t find the right answer. Until I started looking in the right places.

You see, the question I was asking was, “How do you achieve your goals?” and I was asking this question openly to the world (aka I was Googling shit). What I was finding was the next new productivity fad, the next “Top 10 Things Successful People Do” list and “3 Traits of High Achievers.” These quick fix articles and bullet list posts, that are quick to read and make it seem so easy if I just do these 10 things, weren’t getting the job done.

I realized that I needed to change the question I was asking, or better yet, who I was asking. I shifted my target so instead of asking others how to achieve my goals, I started looking for others who had already achieved great things and I started asking, “What did they do?

This profoundly changed my approach to my daily life. When I started looking into what highly successful people were really doing I found one dominant trait that was leading them to success. That one trait was Competitiveness.

The top achievers of the world are all living their lives as if the next person is coming along to take their next meal out from under them. And for some, this reality is actually true. Professional Athletes, CEO’s, and Community Leaders are all living this way because it is their reality. But it’s also what is giving them an incredible boost to their drive and motivation. When you wake up, knowing you have to Outwork your Competition if your going to keep living the life you have, you see things differently.


So how can we take this level of competition and apply it to our own lives? Is there really someone out there trying to take our spot? Are we really sitting at 1st string and the 2nd stringer is coming up right behind us? Are we really in a race but hearing the footsteps of our competition right behind us? Fuck yes we are!

This is the reason we aren’t achieving at our highest potential. It’s the reason we’re so often unsatisfied and bored, with life. It’s the reason we’re living for the weekend and dreading the week. We’ve become satisfied and lazy and just because we don’t have someone right in our face challenging us, reminding us that they are coming for us, doesn’t mean we can’t work that way.

What we need to do is really see who our competition is. Whose out there that’s already better than us at something we want to accomplish? If you want to lose weight, who do you already know or see that’s getting it done? Is it a friend? Is it someone you see on Social Media? Is it Tony on P90X showing you what’s up? Who out there is kicking your ass right now?

Find this person, and compete with them! Let them be the one that’s showing you how to get it done and then go after them! Don’t think about if you can do it or how you’ll do it. Don’t make excuses that they had a head start or that they had a better starting position in the race. The point isn’t to finish the race, it’s to Compete in the race.

If you think, that once you reach your goal, once you lose the weight and get in shape that you’re going to be done. That you can then stop working out and not end right back up where you started. That the race is over and you’ve crossed the finish line, you’re wrong. If you’re only focused on the finish line and once you reach it you stop, your fat ass is going to relapse. It’s not about the finish line, it’s not about winning, it’s about Competing.

Go out and get you some!

Outwork your Competition.

Take Pictures, Build Moments

From the moment I stepped into the role of a parent it has been a whirlwind through time and space. As each bundle of joy came along I’ve found that the whirlwind just got faster and faster. The days start flying by and most of the time we’re playing catch up.

When I did stop to take a minute to catch my breath and look back on where the last year had gone I found these little moments. Small moments that I had spent with the kids like, Christmas morning, them opening a birthday present, seeing them get their first hit in baseball, or a time we had a good laugh, like when my son wanted to be a pickle for Halloween…

And as I look back on these moments I realized that I’m only really remembering a small portion of that moment. I’m remembering a small fragment of what really happened and I can’t help but think for that whole year that went past, I’ve only got this handful of moments to look back on?

I decided that wasn’t enough for me. I felt that if a whole year had gone by I should have more moments than just the handful I could pull off from the top of my head. So I made two changes to give myself more to look back on in life:

  1. I started taking pictures. Allllllllllll the pictures. I figured if I was going to have more moments to look back on I needed to capture more of them.
  2. Every couple of months, my wife and I would print our pictures and put them into a scrap book.

This had profound affect on how I looked back on my life and how I shared my life with others. Instead of this handful of fleeting moments I could hardly remember I had an entire book to represent my life. Each picture, each moment, brought on a wave of additional memories that I would have so easily forgotten without the picture to capture the moment.

I noticed that digital pictures didn’t quite have this same affect. I think part of the reason is that when we are building the scrap book of our lives we are much more selective of what moments make the cut. Not every picture can land in the book, there’s just not enough room, but the best of the best always seem to make it.

Now you might be thinking, “Wow, you made a scrap book, let’s hold a parade! Big deal…” and you’re right. It’s just a scrap book. Front and back cover with a stack of pictures in between… but what I hope, what I hope this book becomes is something more than that.

When I sit down with my kids and flip through the pictures from time-to-time I hope that it reminds them of where they came from. I hope that they remember those moments like I do and I hope that it fills them with love and inspiration. I hope that it motivates them like it motivates me and someday, someday long in the future when I’m not around… I hope that my kids open that book, look back, and say, “I remember this picture, I remember Dad always taking me for bike rides” and “I remember this game, I remember Dad always making it to every practice and game.”

And then I hope they pass building that scrap book on to their kids.

You’re Not Getting the Point!

In my previous post about Finding Your Why we talked about reasons we struggle so much to reach our goals and how we need powerful, motivating factors to achieve them. Although… it’s not always that simple and like myself, many struggle to find their reasons why.

The most difficult and common struggle I find among myself, and others, is in laying out the why’s and motivating factors for our goals. Think about some of the goals you’ve ever set for yourself, or even that you’ve seen someone else set for themselves. How often do we hear or see, “I want to lose weight so I can look good” or “I want to write this book so I can be a best seller” or “I want to build this little app so I can make a million bucks.”

The common theme her is that it’s all about me, me, me, me and we say I, I, I, I….

And then, a challenge comes our way. A hurdle in our journey to accomplishing our goal comes along and what happens? We fold, we cave, we get beat down, and we fail to overcome our challenge. So why does this happen? Why can we be so motivated when we start on a new goal, that first few days in the gym for our New Year’s resolution, and then give up so easily?

But what about that person we see or know that’s out there crushing their goals? What about that athlete that over comes the odds and makes it into pro sports or that ‘A’ student who comes from a rough background or that business man who went from pennies to riches? What about those people? How come when they hit a hurdle in their journey they don’t fall off like the rest of us?

The secret, the secret sauce here, is that their Why’s, their list of reasons for achieving their goals is selfish AND SELFLESS. When you start to learn about these people who have achieved such great levels of success and you look at their list of Why’s not only does it contain personal motivators such as, “I want to be a great football player” but it contains a long listing of selfless motivators.

Think about times you’ve heard successful people give acceptance speeches. How often do we hear, “This is for my kids” or “I did this for my mama” or “I want to thank my dad for driving me to practice every day.” The reason these people are giving these speeches and crushing their goals is because they are motivated by something bigger than their own selfish wants.

You see what happens when you have these selfless motivators is that they tend to be bigger than you. The selfless motivators tend to take on a larger than life sort of role and this is what makes them so powerful. These selfless motivators give you a different set of power to aim towards your goals and then the next time you hit a hurdle or life punches you in the mouth, instead of staying on the ground or making excuses this selfless motivator pushes you through.

These selfless motivators have such a powerful drive behind them that they are literally the reason some people are successful at all. For some successful people, if you were to take them out of their environment and take away these motivators, they would be a regular Joe Schmo. These selfless motivators are the reason people push through their failures. Their the reason people get up earlier than anyone else, the reason some people hit the gym every day, the reason some people are out hustling all day and night.

Now don’t get me wrong, I believe you should have a good mix of selfish and selfless motivators but I think the selfish ones come pretty easy. It’s the selfless motivators that we need to spend more time thinking on and sometimes they aren’t that easy to pinpoint.

My advice is to look at the world around you. Who around you might look up to you? Who around you might look to you for advice or example? What around you in the world, your community, might be bigger than you? Put that on your list of why’s and if you look at your list of why’s and all you see is I… I… I… then you’re not getting the point.

The ‘I HAVE To’ List

I’ve experimented with a tonne of productivity tools and processes. I’ve taken deep dives with each of the following programs:

And what I’ve found is that there are some common concepts that are shared between them. Each of them implements their own unique strategy towards concepts like prioritization, organization, and execution. They each have their own twist or approach to tackling your to do lists, your dreams, your goals, and life all around.

But for some reason, none of these systems really made things better for me. I noticed that I was busier but I wasn’t really better. I started to notice each system had it’s own little flaw that always seemed to suck all the life out of the process and before long I’d had abandoned it. The Burnout was real…

I do think that they are each worth learning about and attempting. I see each of these systems as a small stepping stone in my pursuit of accomplishment and I don’t discredit them. However, they haven’t (or I haven’t) improved my life with any of these strategies.

So I invented my own… and I call it the “I HAVE To…” list.


You see the problem I kept running into with each of these systems was that I would always end up getting them over-loaded. Some systems ask you to capture all your thoughts and organize them into quadrants or process each item and prioritize it. Backlog items that aren’t important and break down tasks that are bigger.

For me though, not only did I have all of the normal stuff to do like my goals, and tasks, but I had an enormous amount of day-to-day shit that I needed to get done. Dishes, dinner, cold lunches, homework, sports, diapers, practices, tests, doctor visits, home repairs, and the list goes on…

I would be forced to either try to keep up on all of these items in my head or write them all down into the system. Then I would have to organize them, prioritize them, backlog them, break the bigger ones down… and damn was it time consuming.

I decided that maybe these strategies just weren’t meant for me and I set out on researching how other, already successful people manage their lives. I’m not talking successful people that are just working a great job and appear successful on social media. No, I’m talking full blown, massively successful people like Arnold Schwarzenegger (5x Mr Universe, 7x Mr. Olympia, numerous Hollywood Blockbusters, and Governor of California), Dwayne Johnson (won the NCAA Championship, 20 year WWE career and became known as, “The Rock”, wrote a #1 Best Seller as voted by the New York Times, Hollywood movies, and the recent purchase of the XFL), and Elon Musk (founded PayPal, founded SpaceX, became CEO of Tesla, revolutionized electric vehicles, and launched rockets into space).

And I started researching how these guys go about their lives. How they operate on a daily bases to reach these audacious achievements. What I found was that they all had one major difference in the way they approached their lives on a regular basis. While the rest of us are sitting around saying, “I should workout, I should eat better, I should quit smoking, I should spend more time with my kids, I should, I should, I should…

But these guys, they don’t say anything like that. These guys are so driven, so motivated and focused, that when they talk about their days, they don’t say anything close to what we say. They say things like, “I HAVE to get my workout in, I HAVE to stick to this diet, I HAVE to design this product, I HAVE to build this vehicle, I HAVE to spend time with my family, I HAVE to, I HAVE to, I HAVE to.”


And the reason they feel that way, the reason they say that they, “HAVE” to do something is because they have powerful “WHY’s” and they repeat them to themselves every single day, over-and-over. So I took this concept and I laid it out for my goals. I figured out what I really wanted and what my “Why” was. Then I took each of my Goals and Why’s and I wrote my “I HAVE To” list.

This “I HAVE To” list works just like a normal to do list except it represents what you absolutely HAVE to do on this day to achieve your goal. If you can’t get these items checked off then you need to rethink your goal or rethink your WHY. This list contains only items from your Goals and you HAVE to do each item. If anything gets completed today, it HAS GOT TO BE THESE ITEMS ON THIS LIST.

I sit down each night, just before bed, look at my Goals, read over my Why’s, and write my “I HAVE To…” list. If you’ve been struggling with productivity or found that some of the more popular programs haven’t worked for you. I challenge you to give the, “I HAVE To…” list a try and let me know how it works for you!


The Singleton

This is the first part in a mini-series of posts around design patterns in software engineering.

The Singleton Design Pattern is one of the most commonly used design patterns in game development. I’ve personally used it in every game project I’ve worked on and it has been extremely valuable. However, in my professional development I’ve yet to find a truly valuable place to use this design pattern. Now that doesn’t mean it has no value in the professional world, it’s just not as commonly used.

So what is the Singleton pattern? What does it do and when/where should it be used? The Singleton pattern is named as such because it is used when you want to enforce your application to only ever have a single instance of an object. The most common place I’ve implemented this design pattern is when I need to implement an object “manager.” This happens frequently in game development.

Imagine your developing a game and in that game enemies are created. There are numerous amounts of these enemies and you need a way to manage these enemies. Having a long list of enemies to keep track of and then pass around to various other functions and objects in the game can quickly turn into a maintenance nightmare. To get around this, we can lump all of these enemies under a single umbrella, a single manager.

Now that we’ve got ourselves a single EnemyManager we need a way to make sure that the next developer that comes along doesn’t go and create a second EnemyManager in another area of the game. Think how hard it would be to get your job done if you had two bosses. The same concept applies here. We don’t want two different managers giving orders to our group of enemies. This is where the Singleton pattern comes into play.

The Singleton pattern ensures that no matter what, no matter when, where, or how… our application will only ever have one single manager. I find that this pattern is most valuable when you have an application that can spring into action in the middle of it’s workflow. For example, think of a game developer working on level 20. Without this pattern, he needs to start the game from the very beginning where the managers are initially setup, walk through all of the start menu’s, just to get to his level so he can test his changes. This can be extremely time consuming.

BUT… if he implements the Singleton pattern, he can create his EnemyManager on every level of his game and the pattern will ensure the manager is created correctly on level 20 and all other levels of the game without any conflicts or duplication. So what does this pattern look like in code? I’ll share an example in .NET:

using System;  
public class EnemyManager
   private static EnemyManager instance;
   public static EnemyManager Instance  
         if (instance == null)  
            instance = new EnemyManager();  
         return instance;  

So what are we looking at here? Let’s break it down.

private static EnemyManager instance;

This is our single instance of the EnemyManager. You’ll notice that our class itself is not static but does hold a static instance of itself. There are a couple advantages here:

  1. A purely static class can achieve similar results as the Singleton pattern but it cannot implement interfaces that we might use like in the Observer Pattern (we’ll cover in another post).
  2. The Singleton pattern can allow itself to be passed around as an object for Dependency Injection (we’ll cover in another post).

The next piece is how we enforce only a single instance of our EnemyManager to exist and how we protect the one true instance from duplication.

public static EnemyManager Instance  
         if (instance == null)  
            instance = new EnemyManager();  
         return instance;  

This function is what all other objects will call when they need to grab the EnemyManager instance. When another object calls:

var enemyManager = EnemyManager.Instance;

Our getter will first check if the local ‘instance‘ variable is null. This is where the first check is made to see if an instance of the EnemyManager has already been created at some other time. In our example, we’ll assume this is the first call to EnemyManager and therefore the ‘instance‘ is null. What happens next is we assign a new EnemyManager to the ‘instance‘ variable and then we return it.

Now if we were to make the above call again… when our getter function reaches:

if (instance == null)

We’ll see that we’ve already created our instance of the EnemyManager and instead of creating a new EnemyManager, we’ll return the one that was previously created.

So why does this help our game developer while he’s working on level 20? Well instead of having to create our EnemyManager only at the beginning of the game (to avoid duplication) we can actually call to create our EnemyManager anytime we need it and always guarantee we’ll get the one single instance. This is because even if we start our game on level 20, the Main Menu, or anywhere, our code will make sure that only one EnemyManager ever exists and that we’ll never end up with two managers (having two bosses is such a terrible thought…).

The Singleton pattern is fairly easy to implement but it’s important to know when to use it. Here are the times I’ve found it most useful:

  1. If you know you only ever need a single instance of the object that’s a good sign you’ll want to use the Singleton pattern.
  2. If your application can be started in various states, like level 20 in our example above, and you want to ensure the right objects are created only once.
  3. If you need to have a single instance of an object but you also need to implement Interfaces and/or use Dependency Injection.

If you do find that you need a single instance of an object BUT you do not need to use Interfaces, Dependency Injection, or other Object Oriented Principles then you do have the option to make your entire class static.

Find Your Why. Repeat your Why.

Why is it that accomplishing our goals and the things we know that we should do, so damn hard?

I’ve wrestled with motivation at various stages in my life. I’ve been on both extremes of the spectrum from highly motivated and engaged to “I don’t feel like doing shit today…

You see, Motivation works very much like a roller coaster and when you’re up, it’s great, but when you’re down… well it’s not so great. The problem with motivation is this roller coaster ride. It’s also the reason it’s so hard to stick to our diets, quit smoking, learn that new habit, or accomplish anything that requires great or consistent effort.

We’re constantly subjective to this wave of motivation and until we can make a change in this area, we’ll always be influenced by it. Motivation helps us get that new diet started but when things get harder, when temptation kicks in, when the workout gets tougher, that same motivation doesn’t ever seem to be enough to push us through.

And that’s exactly where our problem lies. You see our Motivation, when it first inspires us, is so strong that it’s enough to get us to initiate a change in our lives. It’s the upward ride of the roller coaster.

Maybe we had a moment where we felt unattractive with our weight or we felt guilty for not spending time with someone we love. Whatever it was, it was powerful and that motivation drove us to start that process of change…

And then after a while… a couple of days… a couple of hours… we lose that motivation. It fades away and with it goes our ability to make a change. And then the next hurdle comes in journey of change and now we don’t have nearly enough motivation to overcome this adversity.

So how do other people do it? How do great athletes do it? How do successful actors and musicians accomplish so much? How does that blogger on Instagram get up everyday and hit the gym?

Their secret, the reason they are able to overcome that next hurdle, is that they keep their motivation so high that they never ride the downward side of the roller coaster. When they step onto the road to change, for them, the ride is always up.

At first it seems hard to understand how they do this. How do they keep their motivation up? How do they keep it from coming down and avoid that roller coaster?

They have an enormous WHY. What do I mean by this? They have a situation, in their lives, a moment, a history, that is so impactful, so motivating for them, that they are able to stay at the top of their game day-after-day.

Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jim Carrey, Inquoris Johnson, Marshall Mathers, Mike Tyson… the list goes on and on and on. Each of these people are highly motivated, Extremely Motivated in their lives and the reason why is because they had difficult, rough lives first.

These challenges gave them a reason to push back and to push harder and for them, it wasn’t a roller coaster. It never was a roller coaster because everyday when they woke up, life was hard. Their motivation was right there in their faces and they had no choice but to live it. So when they grew up, they were raised in an environment that demanded they stay highly motivated to ever have a chance to survive.

How do the rest of us tap into this? How do we capture this level of motivation when not all of us are going to come from a rough background. How do we find that same motivation? The best way to do this is to answer this one simple question… Why?

Why do you want to accomplish what you are setting out to do? Why does it matter at all? Why do you care? Why, Why, Why, WHY?

And answer this question multiple times, every day. Don’t just think of one reason why. Write down your reasons why. Write down four, five, ten reasons why you want to what you want to do and then as life changes, as you grow, add to your list of why. Remove things that no longer motivate you from your list of why and replace them with new motivators.

And once you have your why’s the next step is to put them on repeat in your life. Make it so that every day, every morning, every evening, every night, you look at this list of why’s. Just like Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jim Carrey, Inquoris Johnson, Marshall Mathers, and Mike Tyson had to wake up everyday and live their reasons why, you should be doing the same.

Find your WHY. Repeat your WHY.

Good Cop, Bad Cop

Raising kids is one of the most challenging things I’ve ever had to take on in my life. Even before your first child is born your life begins to change dramatically and you’re called to step up to the challenge of Parenthood. And damn is it a challenge… always… from Day: -280 until forever…

the sandlot GIF

But hard work comes with big payouts and the payouts I’ve received as a parent far exceed any of the difficult times I’ve experienced as a parent. And at the end of the day, it’s always worth it to work hard at being a great parent.

So I want to share one of the most effective approaches I’ve had in my journey as a parent. It’s something I’ve learned through trial and error and it very much works like the ol’ Good Cop, Bad Cop routine. If you’re not familiar with this routine it sort of goes like this:

  • Cops catch 1 of 3 robbers, they throw him in into a room, and try to get him to give up who his buddies are.
  • The first cop comes into the room (Bad Cop) and he’s a real hard ass. He starts laying into this robber telling him they have him on tape, they’ve got his finger prints, they’ve got all the evidence they need and they are going to lock him up for life.
  • The job of this first cop (Bad Cop) is to instill fear into the criminal. That’s his only purpose. To make this criminal start to worry, start to be concerned, start to care… and then the cop leaves.
  • After a bit of time, the next cop comes into the room (Good Cop). This cop comes in and he sits down with the robber and he starts talking to him in a calm voice. He says, “Look man, I know the judge on this case. I know this is looking bad for you, BUT… if you can work with me, if you can cut a deal with me on your buddies. We can make something work. We can get you back on track”
  • This cops purpose is to instill hope. By inspiring this hope within the robber he brings him back from the low of the Bad Cop and in return the robber is encouraged to cooperate. He feels motivated to help the Good Cop because he feels the Good Cop is looking out for him.

This is the basic run down of Good Cop, Bad Cop routine and in parenting we sometimes call this Tough Love. In practice, this technique is extremely effective in parenting and the balance between these two roles or the failure of that balance, is the real key to parenting success.

Anytime I’ve watched other parents struggle with raising their children it’s because they lacked effort in one of these two areas of Bad Cop, Good Cop. Either they are too often the Bad Cop or they are only the Good Cop.

Bad Cop parents are always coming down on their children. Always being hard on them, always pointing out their flaws, or jumping at the opportunity to punish them or correct them. And what happens in these cases is the child grows rebellious or becomes submissive lacking the ability to stand up for themselves.

Good Cop parents aren’t in any better position either. These are the parents that can’t say No to their children. They can’t find the fault in their child’s mistakes or they spoil their children at every chance. As the child grows older they learn they can do anything, say anything, and there are no consequences for their actions. And then what happens when they have to go out into the real world with this approach to life? They aren’t ready.

So why does Bad Cop, Good Cop work so well and what does it really look like? I’ll share a real example of how this has been applied in my life and why I feel it’s so effective.

One bright and sunny day my 7 year old stepped off the school bus and he came running up to me, tears streaming down his face. When I asked why he was crying he said it was because he got a bad grade and I thought, “Okay… a little dramatic but whatever…”

The next day I get a call from his Principal. Come to find out, this little rebel got the idea to draw on the school bus with a permanent marker. Now, in the scope of things, I could really care less about this happening. He didn’t hurt anybody and he clearly didn’t realize what he was doing was going to upset people (also he wrote his own name… so not to bright on his part).

What I was really mad about though was that he lied to me about what had happened. You see, to me, that trust, knowing that my kids will tell me the truth when it really counts is incredibly important to me. It’s the only way I can guarantee that as my kids get older and life gets hard, they will honestly tell me how things are for them and when they need help. Many teens and young adults struggle at these stages of life and pride or embarrassment keep them from getting the help they need. It’s important your kids can be honest with you.

After talking with the principle I was pretty pissed that I’d been lied to and out came the Bad Cop. I approached my son and let him know that I’d learned the truth. I let him know I was mad and that I was mad he lied. I dished out a punishment and I walked away. And even at this moment, I could see how much of an impact this had on him. He wasn’t just upset he was in trouble, he was upset because he’d burned a bridge with me by lying. THIS is what you want your children to feel. The guilt, the shame, the regret not because they are in trouble, but because they’ve wronged someone they love. And this only happens if you’re both the Bad Cop AND the Good Cop.

After some time had passed and I’d let go of what had happened I approached my son again. This time as the Good Cop. I sat him down and in a more calm voice I explained to him why I was mad. I asked him why he lied to me and I talked with him about how that lying made it harder for us to be best friends. That the lying, would ruin our trust and damage our relationship (now these are big concepts for children BUT I’ll tell you, start teaching them now. Don’t wait until your children are already teenagers to try and teach them about honesty and trust. If you do you’re already behind the game).

During this conversation we talked about his mistake, what he could have done better or different, and then we gave each other a big hug and reminded each other that we loved each other. I told him I was proud he was able to be honest with me in the end and that I hopped he learned his lesson but that also (Bad Cop) he still needed to make amends for his mistake, apologize, and make it right. He wasn’t happy about having to do those things, but he was ready to make it right with my support.

This approach to parenting is so effective because it gives children what they are really looking for in their parents. Discipline and Love. These two pieces are crucial to leading a happy, successful life and children need both. Discipline to help them stay on track until they are mature enough to discipline themselves and Love to remind them that they aren’t alone in their journey.

If you’re new to parenthood or you’ve been doing it for some time. Take a look at your strategy. Are you mostly Good Cop, mostly Bad Cop, or have you found a good balance between discipline and love?