In my previous post about Finding Your Why we talked about reasons we struggle so much to reach our goals and how we need powerful, motivating factors to achieve them. Although… it’s not always that simple and like myself, many struggle to find their reasons why.
The most difficult and common struggle I find among myself, and others, is in laying out the why’s and motivating factors for our goals. Think about some of the goals you’ve ever set for yourself, or even that you’ve seen someone else set for themselves. How often do we hear or see, “I want to lose weight so I can look good” or “I want to write this book so I can be a best seller” or “I want to build this little app so I can make a million bucks.”
The common theme her is that it’s all about me, me, me, me and we say I, I, I, I….
And then, a challenge comes our way. A hurdle in our journey to accomplishing our goal comes along and what happens? We fold, we cave, we get beat down, and we fail to overcome our challenge. So why does this happen? Why can we be so motivated when we start on a new goal, that first few days in the gym for our New Year’s resolution, and then give up so easily?
But what about that person we see or know that’s out there crushing their goals? What about that athlete that over comes the odds and makes it into pro sports or that ‘A’ student who comes from a rough background or that business man who went from pennies to riches? What about those people? How come when they hit a hurdle in their journey they don’t fall off like the rest of us?
The secret, the secret sauce here, is that their Why’s, their list of reasons for achieving their goals is selfish AND SELFLESS. When you start to learn about these people who have achieved such great levels of success and you look at their list of Why’s not only does it contain personal motivators such as, “I want to be a great football player” but it contains a long listing of selfless motivators.
Think about times you’ve heard successful people give acceptance speeches. How often do we hear, “This is for my kids” or “I did this for my mama” or “I want to thank my dad for driving me to practice every day.” The reason these people are giving these speeches and crushing their goals is because they are motivated by something bigger than their own selfish wants.
You see what happens when you have these selfless motivators is that they tend to be bigger than you. The selfless motivators tend to take on a larger than life sort of role and this is what makes them so powerful. These selfless motivators give you a different set of power to aim towards your goals and then the next time you hit a hurdle or life punches you in the mouth, instead of staying on the ground or making excuses this selfless motivator pushes you through.
These selfless motivators have such a powerful drive behind them that they are literally the reason some people are successful at all. For some successful people, if you were to take them out of their environment and take away these motivators, they would be a regular Joe Schmo. These selfless motivators are the reason people push through their failures. Their the reason people get up earlier than anyone else, the reason some people hit the gym every day, the reason some people are out hustling all day and night.
Now don’t get me wrong, I believe you should have a good mix of selfish and selfless motivators but I think the selfish ones come pretty easy. It’s the selfless motivators that we need to spend more time thinking on and sometimes they aren’t that easy to pinpoint.
My advice is to look at the world around you. Who around you might look up to you? Who around you might look to you for advice or example? What around you in the world, your community, might be bigger than you? Put that on your list of why’s and if you look at your list of why’s and all you see is I… I… I… then you’re not getting the point.