Since I’ve started this little mini-journey of getting healthier I’ve had a lot of different feedback on my approach. Some people have been really supportive (thank you!), others have questioned me (appreciate the insights and perspectives as well!), and some have flat out opposed me. Today I wanted to give some deeper insights into My Why’s and what’s driving me to do what I’m doing day-after-day.
Not so long ago I was sitting at home in quarantine, like so many others. I was waking up, getting my kids ready for school, clocking into my job, doing my 9-to-5, making dinner for the family, doing household chores, changing diapers, and then grabbing a drink or two and watching tv or playing video games for the next 3 or 4 hours. As far as I was concerned I was living the life. I had a good job, great family, good friends, there was not a single thing wrong in my life. And yet… I wasn’t really happy.
I had a lot of goals I had set for myself. I wanted to quit smoking, I wanted to get healthier, I wanted to stop drinking soda every day, I wanted to spend more time with my kids, I wanted to spend more time with my wife, I wanted to take my dog for more walks, I wanted to write more, I wanted to work on my side projects more, I wanted to do all of these things. All of these different goals I wanted to accomplish and instead, each and every night, I was sitting down, firing up the TV and not doing any of those things…
For the last couple of years I’ve been trying to find the right answer that would help me accomplish my goals. I’ve been trying to figure out what the trick was that other people had already figured out. How were they hitting their fitness goals, their personal development goals, how did they manage to even have time to do these things? I read book after book after trying to answer this question. If it was on the best seller list and everyone was saying this was the way, I bought, I read it, and I tried it. You can take a look at a few of them here.
And still… I was smoking, sleeping in late, staying up late, and feeling like I was still leaving something on the table…
Going back a couple of weeks again, I had caught a nasty cold, nose was congested, sneezing, and it was just like that day in the fall where you feel like every farmer is pulling out their crops, oh and those crops are made out of dog and cat hair… I was just feeling like crap.
I was really feeling low and you know, you can only go so low until the only way to go is up. So I started looking through my productivity books again and I had a moment where it was sort of realized, “This is NOT working.”
Like… I’ve tried this… maybe the problem isn’t me. Maybe the problem is I’m trying all these quick fixes, “just organize your To Do List like this” ideas? So I started doing my own research. I started looking at other’s who had achieved great lives. I started listening to more podcasts of others who lived great lives and I found this: Inky Johnson – It’s Not Just About You.
All it took was one listen for me to change my whole perspective on life. That moment was like a light switch for me. If you haven’t stopped reading this to go listen to Inky Johnson’s story do it before you finish reading this. Listen to that story to understand why that was such a meaningful moment for me.
You see for me, it was like, I’m over here trying to do these little bullshit goals that I can’t even accomplish all the while I’m sitting here in my warm house, with my belly full of food, and sleeping in my warm bed. I can’t even get my ass to put down a cigarette to set a good example for my kids.
And here’s Inky Johnson, coming from nothing, working his whole life to try and make a better life for himself and his family and then life steals that away from him. He is literally weeks away from a multi-million dollar contract with the NFL and one bad tackle throws it all away. Inky loses his arm and his NFL dream is over. All that work, all that time, and life just shits on him. But the thing is, it doesn’t even stop him. It doesn’t stop him because it was never about him. I’m telling you, go listen: Inky Johnson – It’s Not Just About You.
So at that moment I realized. I can’t accomplish the things I want to, I can’t reach higher, because everything I’m doing is based on some selfish desire. I wanted to get in better shape because I wanted to impress people, not because I wanted to set an example for others. I wanted to work on that next side project because I wanted to make more money not because I wanted to solve a problem for others. I wanted to spend more time with my kids because I wanted people to think I was a good father not because time is short and that bond is timeless. Everything that I wanted to accomplish started with I.
When I changed my perspective on that. When I decided to stop trying to do things because I wanted them and started trying to do things for others. Everything changed. I’m coming up 3 weeks smoke-free after 10+ years of smoking. I’m up at 4 AM running a 5k and then hitting the weights after not taking a run since I was in high school gym class. My whole diets changed, my whole perspective on life is changed, and the reason is because I found a bigger why than myself. I found that the reason some people can push through, the reason they can overcome and fight through their goals is because they have Selfless Why’s.
If you’re struggling to reach your goals like I was, if you’re having a hard time reaching higher like I was you, need to find more powerful why’s. You need to find some selfless why’s to push you farther. You’re reasons for doing what you’re doing HAVE TO be bigger than you.
I hope this post inspires you like I’ve been inspired. If you’re having a hard time getting motivated, if you’re struggling to find your why’s reach out to me. I HAVE to pay it forward so don’t be afraid to take that first step towards change. Message me, email me, leave me a comment, and Go Get you Some!